Look At Me!

Monday, April 29, 2013

I am NOT a bitch! a witch? maybe.... but definitely not a bitch!

Normally I sleep peacefully. I rarely dream and even if I do, I don't remember them in the morning.
But last night was an exception. I had a really weird dream and remembered every bit of it in the morning!

Now, typically in instances like this, I send my dreams to The Dream Dinosaur Girl who then translates it into a lovely painting as you can see here
Lovely, isn't it?

 But since The Dream Dinosaur Girl has been mourning for her pink Towel for the last 2 months and no amount of convincing (i told her there are plenty of pink towels out there in the world) has brought her out of her mourning, I decided to take matters into my own hands!

So here's how my dream went.

I was sitting in my room watching TV but the TV was on mute!(weird, I know) and then I hear whispers. So I switch off the TV and listen carefully.

They are talking something about a witch..something about ME being  a witch!!
Now I am really all ears and try to find out where the voices are coming from. I see a hole on the floor adn I jump into it (without a moments hesitation!).
The hole opens into a big ballroom and who do I see there?
 Sabrina, Alex Russo, Paige, Phoebe, Prue and Piper Halliwell!! (that is the first time I have seen all the four Charmed sisters in one room)
All sitting there and discussing how I am supposed to be a witch! I am standing behind a pillar making sure they don't see me.

But from behind comes Elphaba - The Wicked Witch of the West with her green face!!
She looks at me skeptically and asks.

"Who are you?"
"I am a witch!"
"You are a bitch?"
"No, No, I am a witch!!"
"Oh My God, NO, NO, I said I AM A WITCH!!"
"oh, now I get it! YOU WANT to be a BITCH?"
Immediately, She says a spell and turns me into a bitch!

I start running (yeah with four legs and a tail in between!) 
The other witches run over hearing the commotion. I SO want to tell them all about what just happened but the only thing that comes out of my mouth is "woof, woof, bow, bow"

After a long discussion, they seem to convince Elphaba that I am a witch and NOT a bitch!
They quickly whip up a potion to make me human again.
All the seven witches say a spell and throw the potion on me.
And the whole place blows up in a loud explosion!

I woke up in the morning sweating and the first thing I checked was if I still had a tail. Thank God, I din't!!

I am still wondering what triggered off that dream. I know lately I have been obsessed with all the witch series on TV but come on, a bitch?!?
 And I really don't recall Elphaba of being short of hearing!!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Will I ever do it again!?

There is no way this is happening... I can't take it anymore...my heart is pumping.. .I shut my eyes tight and SCREEE...EE....EEEEAMMMM!!

Just moments earlier I had been happily laughing away at all that water splashing on to my face which was displaced by young kids jumping into the pool!

So how did I end up screaming?
Blame. My. legs. Yes, My Legs! The Idiots!!

Earlier this day, the entire family was planning on a day out with a bunch of kids.
I wasn't in the best of moods. So don't blame if I was not all too excited when finally the place decided was 'The Amusement Park!' (How amusing!). Could my day get any worse?

Twenty minutes and two hours later, we were all in this huge amusement park with everyone enjoying the rides and me?
oh, I was having loads of fun babysitting the wallets, hand bags, shoes and expensive cameras! OK lets face it. I am a wimp when it comes to rides and roller coasters and all those stupid contraptions with ridiculous fancy names, that guarantee to shorten your life through fear!

So there I was sitting by the pool and enjoying the cool water, splash on to my face, when I see two members of the family stomping and arguing with each other on top of their voices.
I could feel a smile spread across my face! There's nothing like a great family feud to brighten up your day! (as long as are you are not in the middle of it).
I even walk up-to them trying to eavesdrop on what they are fighting over. They see me and come over to me for my opinion! I feel a twinge of excitement! They want me to be Judge Judy!

Family Member1 : She does not want to come with me on the roller coaster

Family Member2: But he knows how I hate it

FM1: Come on, you can't come all the way here and not go on the roller coaster

Me and My Big Mouth : He has a point you know? It might be exciting !

FM2 : ..but I don't want to and ask him not to force me.

FM1 : I am not forcing you. I am just asking you to shed your fear.

Me and My Big Mouth (again):   come on, it is just a roller coaster. why don't you try it?

FM2 : If he was forcing you, would you go?
(Blast! In all the excitement I forgot how I hate roller coasters too!)

Me : yes of course I would. (I can almost touch the halo on my head)

FM2 : then why don't you?

FM1 : that's a good idea, why don't you come with me instead?

ME: urmm..me?...errr...r u sure?  (damn the halo!)

He started pulling me towards that monstrous looking creature and my legs follow suit, with FM2 standing there and grinning with contentment. (so much for playing Judge Judy!)
You legs, You idiots, stop! hello.. I said stop!

But where would they listen? They were happily walking (even running) towards the roller coaster and settling themselves well inside.

The thing starts moving....oh my God.. what have I gotten myself into?  I want to get down now... oh my God...I look at the operator, beseeching him to stop....he gives a nonchalant wave of his hand.....oh my God...please help me....Its approaching the first drop...oh my God.. my heart is racing... I even say a silent prayer and then all I hear is a piercing AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I was surprised that I actually did end up having fun. (only at hindsight though)
But will I ever do it again? lets just say, next time, I am more than willing to settle for a vicarious experience!

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Life's like that... Really!

We were having guests for dinner! OK, so that's not a life-altering event you might think.
But considering that I am the worst cook mankind has ever known, it might just end up as a life-altering event ( for them! )

I made a million plans to avoid them. I even considered putting up a "Wrong way - Go Back" sign (that we so often find on Australian motorways) on our front door.
But like all my plans, even this one was an epic fail!

In the past, I would have died of anxiety (will they eat this?, will they like what I cook? Is the house clean enough?)
or would have had a nervous breakdown
or would have ended up breaking a few plates and glasses in the buzz of cooking.

But this time, it was different. It din't matter to me if they liked what I cooked or not. My heart was not pounding nineteen to the dozen. I was not running around like a headless chicken in the kitchen!

The guests came over, spoke, ate, drank and left. And I was surprisingly calm and poised the whole time.
And the most surprising part? I din't even chitter-chatter like I normally do to hide my nervousness!

God ! (hmmm ok probably not the best time to seek God's attention. He must be really busy right now dealing with all the dead ones. what with all the shootings, bombings, accidents and explosions - It must be a Population Explosion up there!)

Gosh! I don't know what brought about this phase. what came over me? Was I possessed? Is this what they call growing up (which is very unlikely considering we are talking about me!) or is there any other plausible explanation for this behavior? Will this phase even last?

I guess only time will tell!
But frankly, the whole while, I missed the old ME!